I can say fear was constant. Sometimes moved you and made decisions for you, sometimes was just as a reminder in back of your head. Fear from unknown, fear from pain, fear from minor things that can become disaster, things like cold or injury.
Just like with most of the things there is no rules, so fear is different for different kind of people, and not everybody react same. Someone can say that fear can kill you, yes I agree, but also fear can save your life. Fear can „do“ things instead of you.
I ve seen people doing some weird and crazy things just because they were terrified for their life or lives of their families. I seen man who beat two armed men with rifle, he was driven mad with fear, fear for his family what those two men gonna do to them. He did not even try to shoot , he just use his rifle as some kind of stick or baton, and beat those two guys almost to death.
He was not something like Chuck Norris or anything similar, he was terrified father. Fear just turned him into a monster.
When you find yourself in situation of life and death fear can just overwhelm you.
I was in situation where i needed to stay low and quiet while group of men go pass me, it was matter of life and death and I knew it. I remember my heart was bumping so loud that I was thinking „those guys gonna hear me, they gonna hear my heart“, I was breathing normally I guess but I remember that I thought I breath so loud and I was turning around and checking because I thought someone else is breathing behind me.
Later it got much easier. In first few situations fear controls you, after some times you slowly learn that you need to control fear. If you have enough time for learning that.
But again different people react different. But fear is always there. Over the time you learn sometimes to control it, and use it in your favor, as a extra power actually, as some kind of adrenaline pump starter. So you can do some things faster and better. This is the point you want to get to.
I am talking about ordinary man, not prepared, not trained.
What I learned for sure and what is pretty much obvious is fact that people did not get killed because they feared a lot, they get killed mostly because they reacted wrong, fear paralyzed them.
It is good when fear push you to act, run or fight, do something, do anything. It is bad when you get paralyzed.
First time when a gang came in some bigger numbers, in some form of attack I think harder thing for us was to realize fact that they have bad intentions I mean that they want to hurt us or kill us, after that fear took place, and that fear moved us to defend and to fight.
As i say later we all more or less learned to control fear and to somehow use it in our favor. Some did that better than others, some learned some did not want to.
One of my neighbour was normal guy, with normal life. He just could not understand that sh!t hit the fan and nothing is normal anymore. He was a guy who just payed to much attention to be law abiding citizen, never drove too fast, use seat belt, pay taxes, watch your language, trust the government.
Anyway when shtf, all kind of „police forces“ came up. I mean suddenly there were all kind of armed groups going trough town and doing things in the name of law or in the name of the „cause“ or whatever.
They rob, killed, mobilize people to fight for them. In those days for some people it was just hard to understand that law is gone, and there is something like „each men for himself“.
And each one of this group claiming that they have right to use force in the name of law and in the cause of protecting the people. Of course those armed groups were mostly just gangs more or less.
During our discussions in the first days of chaos, he stated to me that he can not go against the law, in other words he said to me if some police force came to his door and wants something from him, he cannot refuse it. Because those guys are the law, and he just cannot go against law.
I had other opinion, mine was more like who ever is armed and wants to enter my house is my enemy.
He just did not accept fact that times have changed. He was afraid to accept it, he wanted to believe that everything is fine and someone will take things into hands instead of him. He was this sort of the government will take care, some higher power will sort thing out guy.
When guys came to his door in the name „of law“ he just opened door and go with them, for „some talk in headquarters“.
After they rob him, he spent few months in their prison, working for them. I know that he was armed when they came, and I know that he could have tried to resist them, they probably in that case would turn back and find some easier target. But he choose to listen to them, he choose to trust them that they are law, and they are doing what is best for him.
I think he was just paralyzed by fear of the fact that he can somehow not abide the law. Even deep inside he probably knew that those guys are not any kind of law, he maybe just wanted to believe that everything is gonna be fine.
Like I speak about many examples in my course people see what they want to see and especially when things get tough they try to look for good things in bad situation. Unfortunately if there are no good things some even convince themselves there are.